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Yesterday, I found out that you weren’t with her anymore. My breath caught in my chest when I first heard. I didn’t know what to think… how to feel about it. Me, being me, had the little ounce of hope that you broke it off with her because you couldn’t get my voice out of your head. After all, you did tell me 3 weeks ago that you couldn’t stop thinking about me.
There was a stipulation though. You couldn’t get her out of his mind either.

It’s always been the other way around with us. You were so into me that you would’ve left the world behind to be able to call me yours. I had my own world. Now it seems like you found your shining star, your sun, and I am just realizing that your world is much more appealing to me than my own.

I always thought you would be there waiting for me when I realized it was you that i needed. I really thought you were different for me. I thought you understood me. Not the me that people at school see me as. I thought you saw me as in my soul, my mind.

Yesterday I called you and you didn’t pick up. I left you a voicemail saying, “Hey, I know you’re probably busy, but if you aren’t wanna help a girl out? I need some advice and you’re the first person that came to mind, so here I am. Give me a call back, okay?” You text me, 8 hours later, asking what had happened. That’s when I realized that your girlfriend wasn’t the reason why you couldn’t be with me, but YOU were the reason. You just aren’t into me.

This is why I have trust issues. 6 months ago I told you to go find someone else to be happy with, and you told me that you didn’t want anyone else. You said you would be waiting when I realized that you were the one i had to be with, no matter how long it took.

Today, I found out you are back with her. She’s very pretty; she’s got a sparkle in her eye that I know you probably adore. Her smile is contagious, and I’m sure her laugh makes your heart fill up with emotions you’ve never felt before. She’s great at basketball and softball, varsity in both. She’s the type of girl that makes you want to become a better person, that makes you want to be good enough.

I may not have a sparkle in my eye, but my eyes do change to a pretty hazel color when they’re in the sun. My smile is pretty average, and my laugh is decent on a good day. I play volleyball, and I’ll probably never be the star player. I do have a way with words though; I have a way of making you know that you’re worth something. I take pictures, especially of the things I’m afraid to lose. I give compliments about the less obvious things. I have a way of getting people to open up and feel comfortable enough to talk to me. Also, I listen. I don’t start up a conversation / ask questions because I’m curious or so that I can go spread your secrets around to everyone and their uncle. I ask because I care. I know what it’s like to have no one to talk to, so let me be that person for you. I may have some bad anxiety problems, and I may not be the best at talking to people, but I’m a cool person once you get past that. My soul is pretty rad too. I don’t want to make you feel like you have to become a better person for me; I want you to feel like you are good enough for me, that you don’t have to change yourself to fit some kind of “standards” you think I have.

The moral of the story is this: You never know what you’ve got until it’s gone, so enjoy it while it lasts.