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The Last Letter

This will be the last letter i write to you
It’s been 6 months since i heard your voice
And the last thing you said to me was not
‘I love you’.

This will be the last letter I write to you
Because I’ve run out of words to say
I’m sorry i was not who you wanted me to be
And I’m sorry that that was somehow my fault

It’s been 6 months since you told me to go
And in all that time I’ve written letters,
With scribbled words and anguished ‘I miss you’s
With faded dots from tears, or whiskey.
The two have started to blend.

This will be the last letter.
I am out of paper and metaphors
Outlining my apologies, and recollecting your smiles.
My ‘what ifs’ and ‘if only’s fill books and libraries
That you will never see. These words the only works
You’ll know from me.

The letter before this was short.
Nothing but ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘Good lucks’ scratched again
And again, into parchment, dry and broken.
There were no more tears.
And the empty bottles on the floor betrayed me to reality.

This will be the last time I write to you.
Not because I’ve given up on loving you.
But This heart is no longer your home
And my own words are starting to circle me,
Surrounding me in misery.
While each letter i wrote is simply signed
‘Return to sender: She does not live here any longer’.